How to get started on your coach search
Too many words?? Prefer to listen vs. read? Download audio file here.
This checklist has 2 “LEVELS” and is followed by Lauren’s TIPS and a list of RESOURCES .
I suggest you do a quick read-through first. This will help you decide which aspects of the list resonate with you and which ones you want to discard before starting.
How much TIME “should” this take? Estimate 15 min for a quick read-through and then estimate 1 hour to complete both levels of the checklist. Consider giving yourself a 30-60 minute buffer between this and your next commitment because let’s be honest… it often takes us ADHDers a bit longer. Not a bad thing, just something to recognize and accept.
Download a short version of the checklist here
LEVEL 1 — PRIMING THE PUMPS (25-30 minutes)
▢ SET a GOAL (1 min)
Identify a reasonable and realistic “bite-sized” goal for yourself.
For example: “I am going to work for 30 minutes on my coach search”.
Say it out loud, jot it down, or, even better - text it to someone you trust.
▢ SET a positive INTENTION (2 min)
This might be the most important item on the checklist, so don’t skip it
Consider WHY you are doing this, WHO you are doing it for, and WHAT possibilities can be unlocked for you by setting this process in motion.
Some examples: “I intend to prioritize my mental health,” “I intend to be present for myself in the next 30 minutes,” “I intend to let my words flow rather than stifling them”
Say it out loud to yourself.
If negative thoughts pop into your head, notice them, and then tell them to take a hike. Rest assured, these thoughts won’t go far so you can always wrestle with them later (and yes… soon you will get to tackle these thoughts head-on with your new coach!)
▢ GATHER your THINGS (5-10 min)
Consider printing the short version of this list out so you don’t have to remember the steps. If you don’t have access to a printer, take a screenshot and keep it visible.
Pen/pencil or if you prefer to dictate, grab the device you use to capture your thoughts.
Try colorful pens or anything that infuses a bit of fun into the process. This could boost dopamine levels which will help ADHD brains engage and sustain focus!
Piece of paper or whiteboard (if applicable).
A timer of some sort.
Beverage of choice.
Are you a fidget-er? Grab something to fidget with or something to nibble on (popcorn, gum?)
Do you work better with company? Grab a partner, friend or pet to serve as a body double.
▢ SET the TIMER for 10 min
Careful not to use an alert that you hate the sound of
You can always press snooze or reset the timer if you need more time.
The timer will serve as a reminder to stay on task especially if you are prone to chasing rabbits.
Using a timer might also help you recognize the passage of time if you struggle with “time blindness”.
▢ ARRANGE your ENVIRONMENT (5-10 min)
Don’t overthink this step, you aren’t looking for a perfect space, just the best you can do with what you’ve already got. Success is adjusting one thing for a slight improvement.
Have you picked a work spot with the fewest distractions and the least amount of clutter?
Are you comfortable in this space? Take a moment to notice if anything is particularly bothersome to you (smells, sights, sounds, textures) and adjust if it’s a small tweak.
Consider putting your phone on silent mode temporarily (except for the timer alert!)
Do you work best sitting down, standing up, walking around, or perhaps flopped face down on the couch? Great, do that!
▢ CLEAR one TOLERATION (5 min)
RESET the TIMER for 5 min
Is anything small capturing your attention that you might feel compelled to do before thinking about coaching? If it’s something that will realistically take you under 2 minutes to do, then go for it.
You will create additional space for clearer thinking and it will also set you in motion which helps build momentum.
Examples: Do you have to go to the bathroom? (OK, then GO!) Do you see dirty laundry on the floor that can be picked up and dumped into a hamper? Are there a bunch of random shoes strewn about? Perhaps toss them in a basket or into the closet. Messes don't have to be organized but containing them is often very helpful.
▢ DO something ACTIVE (1-2 min)
RESET the TIMER for 1-2 min
This is not a workout so don’t even try to go there!
Do ONE very small but active thing.
Examples: a few deep breaths, a few pushups, a couple of jumping jacks, or, perhaps strike your favorite power pose.
Remember, it doesn’t take much to jump-start our brains.
LEVEL 2 — NOPES! & HOPES (35 minutes + celebration)
▢ BRAIN DUMP your initial THOUGHTS (5 min)
SET your TIMER for 5 min
Here are a few ideas of questions to get the juices flowing, however, be creative and let your thoughts flow.
Where do you feel the most friction in your life?
What keeps you up at night?
What challenges do you face on a day-to-day basis?
What areas of your life do you feel there’s room for improvement?
Do you have any specific goals or aspirations in mind for yourself?
(it’s more than O.K. if you don’t)What do other people come to you for help with?
Name one thing you can do insanely well and with minimal effort.
Name another that takes you WAY too long and you dread.
What did you want to be when you were a kid?
▢ DEVELOP a “NOPE!” list (5 min)
RESET your TIMER for 5 min
Often we have no idea what we want or what to look for. We might not know what is possible or realistic. However, we do generally have an idea of what we don’t like.
Try to come up with a few attributes that would make you feel uneasy in any relationship.
Give yourself permission to include things that might be offensive to others - you don’t have to share this and you can always destroy it later. This process will help with clarity and eventually bring you closer to finding the right fit.
Example of my “Nope!” list:
I don’t want to work with a friend or a friend of a friend
No sales pitches or gimmicky stuff
No middle person or any unnecessary red tape or hoops
No pre-paid packages - how I can be sure this will be valuable?
Nobody who makes me feel judged or reprimanded and I definitely can’t work with
someone who has strong political or religious views that show up professionallyNo phoniness! Hate feeling pressure to be overly positive when it’s not authentic
and I also dislike when others try to hide behind false positivityNo in-person coaching! I don’t need to spend any extra time traveling and I don’t
want the pressure of having to “get dressed” for this sort of thingNo expectations to do “homework” unless I ask for it
No extensive on-boarding process
No coaching from a prescribed model or promises of quick fixes
▢ DEVELOP a “HOPE” list (5 min)
RESET your TIMER for 5 min
Now that you’ve outlined what you DON’T want, it might be easier to point to a few things that you DO hope to find in your coaching relationship.
If your “Hope list” is the positive opposite of your “Nope! list,” that’s alright.
Example of my “Hope” list:
Honest
Authentic
Warm and welcoming
Has a sense of humor and knows when to use it
Occasionally swears or has typos in their texts and emails (aka, is relatable)
Is somewhat flexible with rescheduling but appreciates structure
Has personally struggled with ADHD themselves or at the very least is ADHD informed and
their coach certification is from a reputable ADHD coaching schoolHas kids and can truly relate to the multiple hats I wear day-to-day
Truly gets that pets ARE family too
Has had a different career before becoming a coach
Someone who can help me figure out what I want
▢ CONSIDER the COST (5 min)
RESET your TIMER for 5 min
How much money and time can you spend on coaching over the course of 2 - 4 months?
Having a vague idea of how much time and money you can afford on a monthly basis will help you figure out how often you can meet.
It will also help you negotiate if a coach’s rates are above your price range.
(Some coaches offer sliding scale rates or are willing to work with you on pricing. They may not be able to accommodate, but it’s alright to ask).Check with your HR departement to find out if your employer offers reimbursements for coaching. Many Firms offer this sort of benefit, however, it isn’t always broadly publicized.
If your budget is very tight, consider exploring group coaching options or even joining a community discussion group. Finding a group will indeed be another challenge, but there are fantastic resources on the websites listed below.
Careful not to go down this rabbit hole yet… at this point, you only need to consider if it’s something you are open to exploring or not.
▢ REVIEW your NOTES (5 min)
RESET your TIMER for 5 min
You just did a lot of work! Time to check in with yourself.
Do you have slightly more clarity on what you need and want from a coaching partnership?
If not, what questions were missing for you? Jot these down and then answer them.
▢ SCHEDULE a future MEETING(s) with YOURSELF (5 min)
RESET your TIMER for 5 min
Find one or more 30-60 minute blocks in the near future and add reminders to your calendar to pick up where you left off.
Be specific about what you want to get done in each chunk of time.
For example, indicate that you plan to spend 30 minutes composing a draft email that you can use as a template when you reach out to potential coaches or that you will use the 30 minute block to check specific websites, or that you will spend 60 minutes sending out emails.
If you blow through one of the meetings, rather than getting upset with yourself or avoiding it, notice that you didn’t do what you thought you would do and then take a moment to reschedule for another date so you won’t completely lose your momentum. It’s fine that you didn’t do the thing, but don’t let that get in the way of ever doing it. You simply haven’t done it YET!
▢ CELEBRATE your PROGRESS
YOU DO YOU! Celebrate in your own unique way.
Nothing over the top here, perhaps a happy dance, a snuggle with your pet, a mental “wow, you did good!” Perhaps pop a few jelly beans into your mouth or have another cup of coffee and head outside to sit on the front stoop, or… if you’re me, pop a few jelly beans in your mouth and then grab the vacuum for a spin around the house.
Whatever you choose, do it mindfully and notice how you feel in the moment.
Lauren’s TIPS
In general, when working on important things, consider giving yourself a time buffer between the work and your next commitment. Even if you don’t need the extra time, transitions are hard so working buffer time into the process from the beginning could help.
Play around with Level 1 “Priming the Pumps” and make adjustments as appropriate. I created this as a tool but it won’t work for everyone so go ahead and edit it to make it your own. Consider using it as a template to help kickstart any task or project you are having trouble tackling.
When doing on-line research, use timers to help you avoid getting mindlessly wrapped up in any one site as this could lead to overwhelm and burnout. If you find that one of the sites has suitable options and you like the way it’s organized, stick with it and only go on to the other sites if you need to restart the process. Less is more here. All of the resources included here are fantastic and you’ll likely find many of the same coaches appear multiple times.
Use the “coach finder” tool to look for a trained and certified coach. You can usually use filters to help narrow down the search even further.
Refer to your “Nope!” & “Hope” lists as you review your options (consider having them printed or visible).
Select a few coaches that resonate with you. I suggest not casting the net too wide, however, it might be helpful to select 3-4 potential options.
Type up a template email and save it in your drafts - reuse this and adjust it so you aren’t starting from scratch each time. This can also be used as a script when leaving a voicemail.
Keep your email or VM concise. Remind yourself that the main goal of the initial reach-out is to find out if a coach is taking new clients. If the coach has room, they generally offer a complimentary 30-minute “discovery” audio or video call where you will have the opportunity to provide additional information and ask as many questions as you want/need.
RESOURCES
A few good online resources include but
are not limited to: