A Template for Sharing Your Experience (w/out labels)
Have you recently been diagnosed with ADHD and perhaps feeling nervous about sharing your experience and diagnosis with your closest connections?
In an ideal world, we would all feel supported and seen by our dearest friends and family members, but unfortunately, this isn’t always the case - even if they love you and want the best for you. Perhaps they don’t have an accurate understanding of what ADHD IS and IS NOT. Some of the most well-meaning people still picture the kid from the Saturday Night Live skit depicted by Mike Myers over a decade ago and haven’t accepted or recognized that ADHD is so much more than the stereotypical presentation that has become infamous.
Consider the draft communication below. It’s meant to be a starting point — take what resonates, edit what doesn’t, and add your own stories to make it feel true to you.
“I know you’ve probably noticed how I can sometimes [insert your specific challenge here], or how I often struggle with [insert another example]. Over the years, people have sometimes called me things like ‘quirky,’ ‘different,’ ‘spazzy,’ and might consider me someone who hasn’t quite ‘lived up to their potential.’
Lately, though, I’ve been learning some things about myself that help put things in perspective. I’ve started to understand why I experience certain patterns—like difficulty staying focused, feeling easily overwhelmed, or reacting strongly in certain situations. These patterns aren’t about personality flaws or a lack of effort. They're connected to how my brain works, particularly in the area of executive functioning.
Executive functioning affects things like focus, organization, time management, and how we handle stress. When these systems don’t work the same way as others', it can show up as procrastination, irritability, emotional outbursts, or needing more recovery time after social or sensory overload.
I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and working with professionals to better understand these patterns. Since then, I’ve started using new strategies and tools to help me manage things differently. I’ve made some small but meaningful changes in my day-to-day life that are already making a big difference. I'm feeling more hopeful, more capable, and more myself than I have in a long time.
I’m sharing this with you not because I need anything fixed, or because I expect you to take anything on. I just love you, and I thought it might help explain some of the behaviors or decisions that haven’t always made sense—even to me.
I know there’s already a lot going on in your world, and I don’t want to add stress. But if I seem distant, reactive, or like I’m shutting down, please know it’s not personal. It’s often a sign that I’m overstimulated, overwhelmed, or trying to manage something internally.
I’m not looking for advice or solutions—I’m just asking for a little patience and understanding as I keep working through this. And if you ever want to talk more, I’d be happy to share what I’ve been learning.”